Saturday, August 18, 2001

Caution: NOT FOR THE WEAK OF HEART (or stomach for that matter.................)

Harry's owner is presently a server at a nationally known restaurant.
( establishment shall remain nameless due to potential libel suits by said establishment) <---I just love legaleeze! Truth: It's her only source of income at this point. She has already made her parents "children poor"

As a direct result of her enlightenments, we are now extremely cautious when dealing with servers at any eatery. Posh or not.

Never, never, never, and I mean , NEVER
hassle
annoy
wrankle
tweak
ruffle
irk
vex
OR
in any way antagonize the person who will be serving your food at ANY restaurant. Always, always, always, and I mean, ALWAYS remember the trip your server makes from kitchen to your table can be hazardous to your health.

Servers can retaliate. And, IT AIN'T Pretty, folks!

SERVER'S REVENGE

WARNING: Viewing this site can result in your desire eat at home more often than not.

Public Service Message:
by THEOTHERCHEEK.

Thursday, August 16, 2001

More on Lefties.................

Intuitive, creative, bright..............Why, yes!
Gauche, sinister, weak.........I think not.

LEFTIES RULE !!!

Rabbits I have Known..............(continued)

Trying to capture all three of the resident critters has given me a new found respect for animal photographers. The Curmudgeon Cat escaped.She wanted no part of this family photo. So, we are left with the "other two":

Let's keep in mind that Mr. Magnus is a Springer Spaniel. Yes, a card carrying member of the "hunting group". I think his membership may be revoked after this............He won't care cause he truly doesn't know he is a D-O-G.

Wednesday, August 15, 2001

Friends Forever Part 4 SEVENTH GRADE

We are back in the top row. BTC: Something new has been added: bangs. Last year's Ann Lander's 'do has been modified this year to include bangs. Mine are permed. This is our last year in elementary school - goodbye to our friend the alphabet, faithfully hanging behind our heads all these years. TOC:Hairdo? She thought SHE had a hairdo. Look at me! I had these looooooong bangs which I constantly (much to my mother's anguish) flipped back. Now, I realize that I must have looked like I was having a "seizure". BTC: I have been wearing glasses for two years at this point, but never let the camera catch them on. I am still hopeful that I will turn into a great beauty. It will be at least 4 more years before I throw in the towel and let them stay on all the time. What the heck.

TOC: After this pic, we are off to Jr. High. The year when Two Cheeks might just get separated. In Jr. High, the classes are separated according to "intelligence". (what the hell was that all about, anyway? Stay tuned for 8th grade. This is when BTC began crawling through my bedroom window to wake me for school. (oh, calm down... it was a one story house) In view of my constant sleep state, today, I would be tested for narcolepsy.

Tuesday, August 14, 2001

Rabbits I have Known

My daughter moved back home in June. Harry came with her. Harry's a domestic rabbit.

For the life of me, I don't understand why anyone in their right mind would want a rabbit. I just don't get the attraction. He's cute in a bunnykindofway. But, that's where it ends for me.

He sheds. There's enough rabbit floating around in her room to make a pair of gloves at this point. He doesn't do any tricks. He chews things. He shits up a storm.

The daughter is spending this week at Cape Cod. I am in charge of Harry.

Here's the Harry list she left for me:
Change water 2x/day
Keep food dish filled.
Keep hay bin filled
Brush Harry: if you can catch him
Make rabbit stew

OOPS, how'd that get in there?

RIGHT ON! LEFT OUT !!!

I am a member of a minority, Oh, I've never been refused housing, a job, medical care, or a seat on bus because of it. But, my group does suffer a discreet kind of discrimination.

We're often singled out at a tender age. Parents and others note our being "different" almost from birth. I was the first in my family to be born with this affliction. My mom and dad wondered out loud exactly which side of the family was to "BLAME".

The problems start at a tender age. Learning to feed ourselves and tying our shoes are oten difficult tasks. Starting school posed a whole new set of problems. The desks, scissors, calculators, and computer keyboards/mouse more often than not give us trouble. In the workforce, we are sometimes consider a danger to other co-workers. Especially in the manufacturing and construction fields where slicers, drill presses, band saws, etc are used.

Genetic? Environmental? No one is really sure.

Have you figured it out yet???

"Everything is all right" has a different meaning for me 'cause I'm left-handed!

I'm in excellent company. Paul McCartney, Einstein, Picasso, Ben Franklin <---all "southpaws". In 1992, all the major contenders for U.S. President were left handed: Bush, Perot, and Clinton.

I grew up in a "right handed" world. I've adjusted to using scissors upside down, converting my mouse, and fumbling with the potato peeler.I've adjusted to the "right-handed" world of anesthesia. Even there, intubation is for Righties. I was one of the lucky ones: my parents did not try to cure me.

I am truly thankful for one thing. I'm sure glad that I was born after the time period when "lefties" were accused of being "witches" and burned at the stake. That's one time I'm glad I was "LEFT OUT!"

Monday, August 13, 2001

Today was not a good day ......

I went back to work after 10 days off.

Discovered that those personnel people "robbed" me of 16 vacation hours

My dentist removed my surgical sutures.It hurt like hell.

The StopNRob ran out of French Vanilla capuccino

My daughter's rabbit chewed a hole in my bedroom carpeting

Yesterday, Sunday, was Nat'l. Left Handers Day. No cards came in the mail today.

I'm glad it's almost over.

Sunday, August 12, 2001

M is for Murder

We interrupt this blog for a news bulletein. Channel 01 News reporter Mr. Bigwhiteteeth: "Folks, the jury has returned a verdict of

NOT GUILTY!!!

"This verdict comes as no surprise. Mrs. TOC comitted a crime of passion. Oh, wait here she comes now........Mrs. Toc! Mrs. TOC.......over here!"

(Mrs. TOC, looking remarkably well-groomed after a grueling trial, approaches the reporter)

Mrs. TOC (sniffle sniffle) "I'm so glad its all over. I'm sorry for what happened. But, something just snapped."( She, wearing a chic number by a top designer, is whisked away by her attorneys. )

Reporter:"Well, there you have it. The murder trial of the century has come to an end. Men, there's a lesson to be learned in all this. Remember this precedent setting trial the next time you ask:

"WHAT'S FOR DINNER ????????????"

Just in case: I'm thinking Julia Roberts for the lead. Kevin Costner for the male lead. (Note to self: remember to remind director: there is a direct relationship between box office revenue and bedroom scenes ) (Note to self: To hell with Julia! I'll play myself.)

I read it in the paper...............

Drew Carey had a major coronary event. Mr. Doublemayoextracheese had an unsuccessful attempt at a coronorary stent. Stents are very much like that little spring gizmo in your inkpen that keeps it clickable. In this case, the stent went inside Mr. Fat-a-holics artery to keep the red stuff flowin' and carryin' nutrients to his ticker.It's the same procedure Vice-President Cheyney had done.

After they put Drew on the Dean Ornish Diet we'll never recognize him. On the Ornish diet, you can only eat things that never had a voice. He'll be lean and mean. He'll probably get contacts and wear pants sans elastic waistband.
Who wants a lean and mean Drew Carey? It would be like Santa joining Jenny Craig. A svelte Pope. It just won't be the same.

Another ICON bites the alfalfa. Damn.

Forever Friends Part 3

SIXTH GRADE

These yearly school photo events were one of the few times "they" DID not separate us. In class, one of us would be row 1 seat 1 and the other stuck in row 5 seat 5. Much to their dismay, we became expert note passers.

BTC: Notice the roller bumps in our hair. These hair-dos required a Tonette and 8 hours spent in curlers. The curls actually went boi-oi-ng! when they were released from their pink plastic grip.

TOC: The year of our "confirmation" at the local Catholic church.(Home of the Big Bazaar!)
I can still remember that Eddie Borowski (neighborhood tough guy) was right behind me in the line "for the soldiers of God's army". Eddie, although the 50's were long gone, was still reliving them via wardrobe and attitude. Someone must have "clued" the Bishop "in" about eddie. .... cause the Bishop, who was supposed to deliver a mild slap to the "soldiers" cheek, gave Eddie such a crack he almost knocked him over to the Protestant church which was 3 blocks away. I swear this is true. I can still see Eddie reeling from the blow. I can still hear the noise it made.
During the confirmation, the Bishop stood at the front of the church (which was filled by family members and friends) in order to call on a random "soldier" and ask questions. There were around 50 confirmees, and, lucky me, got called on. I stood up and for once in my life was absoulutley speachless.Hard to believe, isn't it? My mouth opened and I couldn't say anything. What really ticked me off was the fact that I knew that answer to the question.

BTC: We were 12. The same insurance man came to everyone's back door monthy to collect the premiums. This question was asked at each home: "Are you a pre-teen, a sub-teen, or a junior teen?" The mention of this still makes us roll our eyeballs.

TOC: My ensemble was a tres chic beige brocade number made by my mother. On a machine she referred to as MR. Singer. This little number was my half of a mother/daughter spectacle. Why the devil she chose this particular nightmare for my 6th agrade pic is totally beyond me.! Perhaps she thought it was a formal affair.