Friday, August 10, 2001

Forever Friends Part 2

FIFTH GRADE On the cusp of womanhood. We are still the tallest, so we stand out in the line-up. The teacher makes us stand in the middle row so we blend in better.

The girl who took our place in the top row is less than thrilled to be singled out as illustrated by her hostile arm folding.

My theme for the year was determined by our 900 yr. old homeroom teacher, Miss Sarah Cooper. Old Sarah caught me making faces behind her back, turned to me and said: " Ignorance is BLISS, Christine. " You know the old girl had something there.

BTC: We are as close to sisterhood as we can get. As you can see, she has the voluminous hair that I have always wanted. This was the last photographic record before the hormonal advent of acne and greasy hair. I haven't acheived this degree of puffiness since.
Please note that I am holding my back molars apart to create the illusion of cheek bones. I have just realized that being a pumpkin head is not compatible with beauty.

TOC: How 'bout that hair-do? I think I had the big pink rollers in until right before the photographer snapped this.This was the year of BEER CAN hairdo. Try sleeping with Stegmaier cans in your head. It wasn't easy.

BTC: See that maniacal expression on her face? That is the face she always right before she got me in trouble!!!!!

TOC: Yes, but my hands are folded in prayer. Mostly I prayed no one discovered what fluffygirl things I had done that day.

Thursday, August 09, 2001

FLUFF GIRL?????????????????????

Junque with a capitol J........

BOBTHECORGI ( life-long friend) and I , share a love of other people's cast-offs. Junque, antiques, vintage.....Call them what you may.......they're a source of sheer delight for us !

Today, we brave the deadly heat index of 100 degrees plus and motor south to several vintage and junque shops. We will scour the shops in search of the perfect vintage item. Perhaps we can make this interesting. Let's see who can find the most interesting junque for ten bucks ! Stay tuned.

Wednesday, August 08, 2001

FRIENDS FOREVER ( part I ) theothercheek and bobthecorgi have been friends forever. Our birthdays are 12 days apart. Our mothers sat next to each other on the bench in the obstetrician's office. We lived one block apart for our first 18 years.
We did everything - everything - together. we played together, we went to school together, we went to church, catechism, first communion, confirmation together. We were always placed next to each other, as evidenced in these class pictures. ( sad to say that Hurricane Agnes flooded away many of our old photos, so we start at fourth grade).

Yes, we've been friends for a very long time. I think I was always more of a rebel than Bob. I was always the one who got in more trouble. Bob had a "be good" aura about her. Me---------------nothin' but trouble. Cutting school, smoking in the lav, procuring booze for the boys in my life.........................A fluff girl since way back when....................................(<----test to see if Mic reads MY blog)

FOURTH GRADE
We are nine. We are the tallest girls in the class so we stand on the top riser.

TOC: Yes, I remember it well. The boat landing at Ellis Island. Momma and Poppa only brought the bare minimum. Many pounds of potatoes, rings of kielbasa, and a few spare "church" babushkas. All of the 'ski Family wore their Sunday traveling clothes for the voyage.
For Gawd's sake, where in the hell DID our mother's get these outfits? I don't think Good Will was in existence. WE, evidently WERE THE GOODWILL. The clothing we are wearing is proof of that..
But, there we are side by side. Two cheeks of the same ass.

BTC: We are the victims of our mother's fashion sense - the ragbag look was big that year. Our hair was not yet under control - note the multi-directional curls and cowlicks. The only plus to this stage of development was that we are showing the first stages of breast buds.

Don't feel bad for us ... We all had the same look: the Little Rascals come to life.

Comments, ANYONE??????

So, what's with the aversion to making comments? Some folks have an intimate relationship with their stats meter. Me, I'm madly in love with my comments section.They are the BIG BANG! The dessert. The cream in my cappucino!
Let's remember: YOU'RE all anonymous. There's no face to put with the name.

Funny. Sad. Negative. Positive.
I love them all. I am a comments whore.

Bring 'em on, Big Boy!

AORTAL PROJECT..............

He makes me laugh out loud !
He helps me put that "wouldn't it be cute to have another one?" feeling in the proper perspective.
He keeps me up to date on current events.
He makes me want to get up and dance!!!!!!!!!!

He is :
UNCLEBOB

AORTAL Pick of The Week by Mois !!!

MY LITTLE CORNER OF THE WORLD !

BOBTHECORGI suggested that I post of picture of my "Office" .......

Things you can find here:
portable phone
several bottles of nail enamel
three cans of pledge
many pieces of antique pottery
empty StopNRob cappucino cup(s)
one fuzzy bedroom slipper
my daughter's baby book
mini duster (red)

and MR. TOC wants to know: "How can you spend so many hours on "THAT THING"

HOW CAN I NOT?

Tuesday, August 07, 2001

Foo Foo's ! I hate Foo Foo's.....

FF's are terrible people. They (usually female) stand out in a crowd.

FF's are strikingly well groomed.They get their nails done at least once a week. A FF's make-up is always just right! Regardless of the time or heat of day, FF's never have a hair out of place.
FF's consider everything a fashion event. A FF would never run to the local stop and rob for milk with uncombed morning hair while wearing hubby's t-shirt without a bra and ripped shorts. (ok, that was me this morning: gotta get that cappucino first thing, folks!) Everything is a fashion event. Outfits match! Their clothes are even **ironed! ( **accomplished with a metal thing that gets hot)

FF's are notorious for wearing the most recent fashions. FF"s wear a size in the single digit. (and I don't mean 1X) Heard coming from a FF's dressing room in a local department store: "Honey, these size 7's are too big. See if they have this in a 5." Couldn't ya just scream?

FF"s live in FF Houses. Everything matches: the dishes, the furniture, the linens, the children, etc.
FF's never work full time. Actually, FF's "volunteer" a lot.

FF's never sweat. Never gain weight. Never have hair too long or too short.

I tried to make this a clickable link but those Bastahd's over a Tripod won't let me. Copy and paste this link: http://gems_.tripod.com/new/id25_m.htm. It will unveil the epitome of FOO FOOness. I bet SHE needlepoints at red lights and sends out one of those "darling" informative Christmas newsletters along with performing all those things attributed to her at this site.

Foo Foo's are terrible people. I hate them.

Monday, August 06, 2001

Sign in our locker room:

"THIS ISN'T HELL BUT YOU CAN SEE IT FROM HERE.

Sunday, August 05, 2001

Reasons I Try Never To Tell Anyone What I Do .......

In general, people find medicine absolutely fascinating. They don't know a shittin' thing about it; but they do find it fascinating! Much to my dismay, they find the fact that I am a NURSE even more fascinating.
The general public seems to feel that nursing is much like being a priest, rabbi, or minister. THE DISCOVERY OF MY PROFESSION BECOMES A SUREFIRE INVITATION FOR A PURGING OF THE MEDICAL SOUL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have lost count of the times I've had to endure the blow by blow details of many a hospital stay and/or operation(s) durings weddings, showers, funerals, and other social events. While MR. TOC is slammin' down a few brewski's at the bar, I am being held captive by some stranger who wants to share the sordid details of his/her colonoscopy. Believe it or not, this puts a damper on the festivities for mois.

People like to show nurses their scars. A few moons ago, during a trip to the Public Library with my then 9-year old daughter, I met up with a former patient, a Mr. Cataldo Andaloro. While standing in front of the card catalogue, this 80 yr. old Italian gent (God rest his soul!) (and, NO!, I did not harm him) proceeded to unbuckle his belt and UNZIP his fly in order to show me "How wonderfully" the scar next to his ( 80 yr. old) winky was healing !" When was the last time you prompted a disrobing at the public library? I bet never.
The scariest part is: This is not the only time it's has happened. I've seen many a private scar in many a public place.

People bring their kids over for me to diagnose. Knock. Knock. Door opens. There stands Mrs. Neighbor with her daughter. Daughter's arm is dangling at a very precarious angle and very obviously broken . What should Mrs. Neighbor do? For Gawd's sake, Woman! Take that kid to the E.R.: THIS is not the Redi-Care Center. That's a microwave in the kitchen not an x-ray machine and those are carpenter's tools in the garage not orthopedic instruments!!!

So, next time you find out someone is a nurse............puhleeeze............"SPARE HER THE DETAILS OF YOUR VASECTOMY!"
Unless your initials are "K.C." , she probably won't give a flying fig !!!

I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard the following:

"I wish you were a normal mother." (Could someone please define "normal mother"?)
"This is the last thing we're doing in this damn house."
"Your father and I aren't getting any younger." (Really, Mom...?)
"Dr. So&So has an emergency case for tonite."............(gallbladder, appendectomy, assholectomy, etc.) This phone call usually comes in after 8 p.m on my call nites just when I thought I was SAFE. The only emergency here, folks, is the fact that HE/SHE has plans for tomorrow
"We have a woman in labor." Now this beauty means that mois, certified gas passer extraordinaire, must baby sit this screeming meemie laborin' mom-to-be until babykins decides it time. Call arrival: end of day when I am dressed and headed to my car.
If I had a dollar for each and every time I heard the above, I'd be able to take a vacation sans cell phone and pager for at least a month.............................. .