Saturday, August 04, 2001

My dear friend, BOBTHECORGI, has been through the proverbial mill this month. I am on a quest to get something to cheer her up and bring that "special BOB smile" to her face. I am open to any and all suggestions. Add your suggestion to the comment for this blog! We're on a time schedule here. She leaves next Sunday to go back to N.J.

Let's keep in mind that this is the chick with the "snazzy" red snakeskin wheel cover on her new vehicle. Use your imagination!

I'll be publishing the most INTERESTING suggestions right here at "theothercheek". Perhaps, we can put it to a vote? Let's try to get them all in by Tuesday. Ready, set, go!

Note: BOB'S Mom is doing very well. Sitting up in bed. Talking. She looks fantastic!

Friday, August 03, 2001

Terms of Endearment ! (ICU style)

Prior to my present nursing specialty, I was an intensive care nurse for years. During this time, my fellow nurses and I developed a "mental" list of patient family do's and don't. Following are a few:

1/. Always report to the nursing station and simply ask "Where's my mom (dad, cousin, son)?"
Never refer to them by name. The nurse will surely notice the family resemblance and miraculously
match you up with one of the patients in 20 ICU beds.

2/.Never show up for the visting hours that are posted. These times certainly do not apply to you. SIx or seven other bodies in the pt's room certainly don't hinder any nursing care and assessment that needs to be done quickly and expeditiously. After all , the nurses do work 8, 10, or 12 hr. shifts. It's all about YOU!

3/. Never designate a family member to relay information regarding the patient's medical status to all other family members. Both the nurses and doctors will be more than thrilled to repeat the entire story to any and all family members/neighbors on an individual basis. This will take time from things like giving meds, titrating drips, and evaluating the physical condition of your family members, but, every Tom , Dick and Harry in YOUR family/neighborhood CERTAINLY have the right to hear this info one at a time.

4/. Always bring the children. Children under the age of 12 are especially welcomed by the nursing staff. AND, I bet the ones in your family are especially well behaved.

Addendum to #4 : Don't worry if your children are sniffling or running temperatures. After all, isn't a hospital the very best place to be when your sick?

5/.Always inform the nursing staff any and all family problems. It's of paramount importance for the medical staff to know how much you and your sisters, brothers, in-laws do not get along. Adds just the right touch to the care plan of the ICU pt.

Just follow these simple rules and I bet the nursing staff in the ICU will be more than thrilled to see you and the rest of the family any time day or night.

Thursday, August 02, 2001


Her favorite color is green.
Her smile is very pretty.
Her daughter is my best friend.
Her heart needs fixing.
Keep her in your thoughts and prayers.
Her surgery is tomorrow.

Wednesday, August 01, 2001

Two Cheeks of the Same Ass Go To the Bank................

I will save the origin of the "Two Cheeks of the Same Ass" title given to me and my best and oldest friend for another time. I will cut right to the quick........

It took place many , many moons ago........Theotherothercheek (who was living in N.J. < first clue to the id of TOOC !) had come for a visit. We planned on shopping but, first I had to make a deposit into Mr. and Mrs. TOC' s
joint checking account. Reuinted and it feels so good...

Theotherothercheek and I pulled into the drive-up at the now defunct United Penn bank. I filled out the deposit slip (NOTE: this episodes predates the checking deposit slips which are pre-printed). Of course , we were chatting and laughing a mile a minute. I completed my banking and off we drove to a happier place: THE MALL.

A few days later, TOC was in hot water. I was greeted (in the driveway! a rather ominous sign...) by Mr. TOC (KEY WORDS: Mr. Sami-like, Lithuanian, male) beet red in the face, yelling: " !!!@@@@!!(*^&*&&^%^&%$)(*&^%%$$#@@!(*(*^ Checks bouncing! YOU never made that deposit. Too busy talking ..............*(^&^&%^&%$#%$^%#, etc.! Irresponsible."

HA! I got this Old Boy right where I want him!. I pull the copy of the deposit slip from my purse and wave it in his face! ( Second clue to the identity of Theotherothercheek: this purse ain't never been on FIRE!) He regroups and looks at the slip. There it is in black and white. DEPOSIT MADE!

I stand "INNOCENT !" But, there is still the problem of the Dancing Checks..................Seems that while handwriting the deposit slip I had dyslexically ( did I mention I am a "Lefty") transposed two numbers and deposited over a grand in someone else's account. The bank discovered this error. I have no idea how. But, I was grateful.

Shhh! This is our secret...Mr. TOC still is none the wiser. I stand vindicated of this crime. I believe the statue of limitations has run out..

Now for the rest of the story. My best and oldest friend is known to all of you by yet another name. SHE IS NONE OTHER THAN BOBTHECORGI !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Theotherothercheek ! Check out the BTC' posting for today. Another banking nightmare! Featuring, Mr. Sami .

We are

Two Cheeks of the Same Ass!
.

Tuesday, July 31, 2001

Famous Landmarks !!

If someone mentioned a certain city in the United States, I'll bet you could immediately envision some famous land mark associated with that city..
New York City = Statue of Liberty
Philadelphia = the Liberty Bell
Orlando = Disney World
Washington, D.C.= White House

St. Louis may have its "The Gateway Arch" and San Fransisco may have its "Golden Gate Bridge............BUT, upon entering Shickshinny "Land of the Five Mountains, THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL SEE!"


"SHICKSHINNY IS MY KIND OF TOWN!"

Keep on reading THEOTHERCHEEK cause the Shickshinny Gorilla changes his "look" prn !!!!!!!!!!!!!


"SMALL TOWN, U.S.A."

Is the town I live in small?
Is the Pope Catholic?
Does the bear shit in the woods? Not only does he shit in the woods but prior to conjuring up his big dump he steals our garbage can.

Shickshinny
Name origin : American Indian name
Meaning: Land of The Five Mountains

"Just how small is it?" you ask.........(Where is BOBTHECORGI when I need a straight man?)
IT"S SOOOOOOO SMALL...............

Demographics: pop. 1108 (correction 1109: my daughter just moved back home last month
(Note to self: future blog material: the "Boomerang Generation"
or "Living with Pentagenarian Children")
Families: 494
Police: ONE (1)
He works different shifts on different days. Exactly what shifts on what days is a well kept town secret.
Traffic lights: 1

We have most of the necessary amenties.
A bank.The only reason we don't use this bank is my employer won't direct deposit to it. ( Something about the conversion rate of U.S. dollars to bumper crops.)
Our own post office! Not only can I get stamps and mail packages here, but, I can make travel arrangements via Jim the Postal Worker. Jim's wife, Ethel, is my travel agent.
THE Stop and Rob. Home of the Now Internet Famous Cappucino.
The Five Mountain Market: the grocery store.
Me to clerk: "What aisle is the the balsamic vinegar in?"
12 yr. old clerk: "The what?"
Me: "What aisle is the bulghar wheat in?" 12 yr. old: (Blank stare)
I think you get the idea.

One of the best things about Shickshinny is the town monument. Well, it's not exactly a monument. But, it is the show stopper of the town. I drove downtown to take a digital flick of "him" but, much to my dismay HE had been taken in for the night.(We don't only pull the sidewalks in at night here.) Stay tuned for tomorrow's blog........................I think the folks at the furniture store bring him out a 9 a.m.